Because we all play a part in this, whether we are the aggressor, the victim, or the bystander

As pride month comes to a close, it's important to acknowledge the lived experience of the LGBTQ+ community as something that transpires past the month of June. We sat down (virtually) with some students and asked them to share common microaggressions they've experienced, as well as things they wish their aggressors and bystanders knew.

Here a list of some LGBQT+ microaggressions to avoid inside and outside of the classroom:

  1. Assuming your  WLW classmates want to play the role of boys in class skits 
  2. Portraying gay roles as hyperfeminine and hypersexual characters
  3. Assuming people's preferences based on their gender expression 
  4. Using the expression "that's so gay" at any inconvenience 
  5. Not wanting to openly associate with queer kids who might be more out than others
  6. Not being comfortable when the teacher is gay or not taking gay profs seriously 
  7. Acting weird towards your WLW classmates in an all girls' school because you're afraid we're going to fall in love with you
  8. Identity erasure, discrimination, and refusing to accept gender-neutral pronouns in academic papers

What are some microaggressions you've experienced in the classroom?

Lucas: Based on my experience, a microaggression I've encountered in the classroom is people assuming my preferences based on my gender expression. Or when my classmates act weird or give me looks when I talk to them because they think I'm hitting on them.

Ellie: Another common one is when people say, "that's so f******* gay," at any minor inconvenience. Or when there's a gay role in a class skit and it's portrayed as this hyperfeminine and hypersexual character. It perpetuates that that gay men are sexual predators and that we only look for sex.

Krys: When it comes to submitted works, it's when they refuse to acknowledge gender-neutral pronouns in academic papers, or the identity erasure and discrimination when tackling the lesbian experience. It's like I don't get the same energy and enthusiasm as when my gay classmates do the same.

What's something you wish your aggressors and bystanders knew?

Lucas: Honestly I've just learned to deal with it in a way that as long as they respect me and don't intend to inflict any harm to me then that's okay with me! I wouldn't want people who have microaggressions towards me in my life in the first place.

Ellie: I feel like educating yourselves on what's right and wrong even if you're not part of that community and minority group is a good start. For those who see it and don't step in, even though you think that you shouldn't be involved, as a bystander you have a lot of power to shift the energy and the flow of the situation! You may be scared that it'll cause an uncomfy moment for you, the bystander, but imagine how uncomfy we LGBT feel when we face this every day.

The people who perpetuate these microaggressions, the aggressor and the bystander too, need to have education and empathy. Empathy to understand that it's hard and degraded to an extent. And education to know that it's deep-rooted homophobia/transphobia that needs to change. 

Lucas: Doing nothing about something means that you're part of the problem and people need to realize that. It's not a big thing to step up. Hindi ka naman gagastos, hindi ka naman magpapagod, at walang mawawala sayo kapag tumulong ka.

What's a message you have for fellow members of the LGBQT+ community?

Lucas: It's important to surround yourself with people who respect you all-around for who you are! It's hard to get mad at those people with microaggressions because there wasn't any direct disrespect or discrimination but as much as possible, even though there are people like that, don't let that stop you from being who you really are around them. Don't adjust for them because they're the ones who have something to work on, not you."

Krys: "We need more exposure on the lesbian experience! I noticed that most of the attention is focused on either the generalization of the community as a whole or on the experience of gay men. This could help people see the world from our perspective instead of relying on misleading stereotypes and generalizations. Which in turn helps correct these wrong notions that mainstream media ingrains in them."

Microaggressions are subtle, but it's important that we make an effort to not only be aware of what they are, but to consciously step up when the situation arises. Pride shouldn't stop after June. Pride is a protest that continues to fight for individuals that face discrimination every day for simply being. Part of this is taking both big and small steps to make the world a more pleasant place to live in for every single person, not just for those it's convenient to fight for. Whether you're the aggressor, the victim, or the bystander, we all have the power to shift perspectives and move towards building communities founded on acceptance rather than tolerance.

Art by: Elaine Tuazon
Special thanks to Lucas, Ellie, and Krys for opening up to us