BY GINA BALTAZAR

"What is impossible with man is possible with God."

Luke 18:27

"Impossible, it's a miracle", these words are very familiar to us. It is often uttered by a person who sometimes may not believe that there is still a way, an option, a positive outcome from a certain situation. I always hear this line from the people who see no hope in a circumstance they are in but suddenly turns out to be a positive and good outcome.  Believe me, I also say these words to myself when I am about to give up on things that I can no longer handle or when I am about to give up yet unexpectedly it turns out to be in my favor, which I call "miracles." Thus, I can say miracles do happen.

A miracle is an unexpectedly favorable outcome from a situation, a choice, or a decision made before which I never thought it will come

But what is a miracle? What is it for me? How did it happen in my life? As a Catholic, I often read scripture passages about Jesus' miracles.  But to be honest, I find it hard to believe in miracles because I only considered it for big things, and it is a kind of magic. It's not really easy to believe. But as I grew older, miracles are not really magic, and it didn't happen only during the time of Jesus or medieval age. It also happens "now". The "now" of my life is full of miracles. For me, a miracle is an unexpectedly favorable outcome from a situation, a choice, or a decision made before which I never thought it will come. And after knowing this favorable outcome or miracle, I often shout out these words while looking up to heaven, "Salamat Lord," then followed by a big smile or a loud shout of "Yes, yes, yes!" with a jump of so much joy within. Many may call it a grace from God and I do agree. But for me, it's really a miracle since it is an unexpected grace given by God because I prayed, I asked, I tried, I worked and I took a risk for itꟷ I have faith in God about it.

It's really a miracle since it is an unexpected grace given by God because I prayed, I asked, I tried, I worked and I took a risk for itꟷ I have faith in God about it.

In the gospel of Luke 18:27, Jesus said, "What is impossible with man is possible with God." Hearing this line is so difficult to fathom. I asked when is it really impossible? If God is gracious, all are possible. This is not so easy to believe or digest because I focus on bigger things that I think are so impossible to do. But lo and behold, all are possible with God, may it be big or small or even in very ordinary things that I often neglect or not notice in my life. For me, there are three (3) reasons behind why I have to believe in this passage, since I experienced the impossible becoming possible, these are the miracles in my life. But as Jesus said in the gospel of Mark 9, "everything is possible for one who believes." It is still God who decides and shows me that all is possible with Him.

"Everything is possible for one who believes."

Mark 9

First, I have my own agenda, plans which I want to be in control of. Because of these, I sometimes lose hope in fulfilling my heart's desires. As time passes by, I look at my age and bucket list, and I find myself already running out of time to act on my heart's desires that I have yet to fulfill. I tend to set them aside thinking that nothing will happen anymore, or that it is not meant for me. But as I try to bury and not think about it, opportunities came unexpectedly. It's really surprising. A surprise that I consider as a grace from God. A grace of miracles. With this, I feel so ashamed because I judged God's love and goodness to grant my heart's desires. I failed to recognize that even to the smallest and ordinary desires I have, God granted it already. I just failed to realize it when I focused on bigger things. Experiencing my heart's desires, small and ordinary things is a miracle.

What surprised me was that God continues to accompany and guide me from my "darkroom of regrets and resentments" within.

Second, because of the past experiences of pain and hurt, as a result of wrong choices or decisions made, I was still able to get out from what I call the "darkroom" I was in. I tend to lose faith and doubt myself. But what surprised me was that God continues to accompany and guide me from my "darkroom of regrets and resentments" within.  With courage, I have to make a choice. A choice to see the light of hope in getting out of this room. Surely, it was not just an overnight process. It took me months or even a year to discover that I was already out of that room. With God's love and mercy, I consider it a miracle.  

As I continue to pray to God to cleanse my heart of negativity, I find myself feeling light and freer in just a matter of time. It is a miracle for me.

Third, because of betrayal, I tried to question myself why it happened to me. Unfathomable experiences which I believe God can only know the answer.  An experience which led me to look down on myself. I cannot see myself the way God looks at me lovingly. But as Moira's lyrics go, "pinapaubaya ko na sa kanya" led me in entrusting God this experience of betrayal. I thought I will be imprisoned for so long in this experience. I thought it will be so hard to get out of it.  I thought I will continue to have vengeful thoughts of these people who betrayed me. It was indeed difficult not to think about this betrayal. But as I continue to pray to God to cleanse my heart of negativity, I find myself feeling light and freer in just a matter of time. It is a miracle for me.

There are so many unbelievable things that happened in our lives. Only that we failed to see it because we have not focused on it or didn't pay attention to it.

There are so many unbelievable things that happened in our lives. Only that we failed to see it because we have not focused on it or didn't pay attention to it. I believe in this time of pandemic really helped me to see God's actions in my life. Since last year, I seldom go out, I had more time to notice God's movements every day with me. I notice how He works with me, talks with me, and loves me. Trusting God that He has better plans for me. Our loving God, who is in control of everything.

I notice how He works with me, talks with me, and loves me. Trusting God that He has better plans for me. Our loving God, who is in control of everything.

The 500-years celebration of St. Ignatius of Loyola is very appropriate to see all things new in Christ. To see all things in my life where God is always present. I see new things now in my life. With a new lens, I see new things in me. The newness that changed me of how I see God's miracles in my life. A newness that I am a more trusting, more loving person.

The actions of God in our lives are God's way of reminding us that He loves us, He is with us always, He makes all things possible for us. Perhaps, it is God's invitation to see Him more clearly, to love Him dearly, to follow Him closely so that we would always see the "new" things in life, the "miracles" of our life.

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