The world has always been empty and lonely.

I never thought that, one day, I will associate myself again to its doing and feeling, after I have turned my back against it.

I am disappointed with myself.

I am disappointed with people too.

I asked God if He was letting me give in to my stupid thoughts and silly emotions? Is there a remedy for me? Can I be helped? Or am I hopeless case?

But I never heard an answer. Or maybe I was listening.

Sometimes I thought that maybe I'm a walking red flag. Maybe people were right about me, that I didn't change at all. Sometimes I think I am better off alone. I keep hurting the people I love. Maybe I was born to be alone. Maybe I was an exemption to God's "It's not good for a man to be alone." Or maybe it's good for all people to leave me alone.

Why do I easily get swayed by my emotions? Why do even God called me or chose me when I am this flawed? For sure He has already seen this. He knows I'm gonna fail.

I just hate everything right now.

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