Jennifer Perey de Alas (1976–2024). Photo taken at Tayak Hill (Rizal, La Laguna) by Ron Yu on 1 July 2012.
People who grieve have different coping mechanisms. Some travel, some develop a new hobby, some like to party with friends most of the time, while the weaker ones succumb to substance abuse and even self-harm. Anything just to forget the pain, even if for just a short while. Lucky are those who have loved ones whom they can personally rely on for that much-needed talk or support —and tight hug— whenever they need it.
For me, it's social media. I write and share my thoughts and feelings about my dearly beloved wife, I continue posting about what little knowledge that I have about topics that I love to discuss (culture, history, and national identity), I chat with friends, and I engage trolls and bashers which I believe is the most fun and effective. Anything just to forget the pain, even if for just a short while.
Deeming me as a drama king, "papansín" (attention seeker), etc. won't work. Neither do I care. I will continue to freely express my feelings of great loss whether anyone likes it or not.
Therefore, my unrestrained postings (social media talkativeness) doesn't necessarily mean that I have already moved on from my wife's passing. There is no recovery from grief. We only learn how to live with it. This stabbing pain that I have will remain for as long as I live.
So to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc., thank you for being there for people like me who have no one else to rely on or turn to as necessary.
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