the pandemic has ended, i broke up three months ago and finally processed my feelings about my ex. i think i blunted the memory and blocked off all memories but the past few days of meditation and holding the crystal seems to have. released something in my heart. i feel the pain, it is still acute.
perhaps i am wrong to think that i can be loved - after all, am not a stunning cat like pasta. i was watching extraordinary attorney woo and am on the episode where even people with intellectual disabilities can be loved and love in return. i would like to experience that one day. no i don't have a disability i just have difficult trusting people.
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